Milk: One of My Greatest Accomplishments

This is a picture of 116 breastmilk bottles. (They are used to hook up to breast pumps to collect milk.) I took the picture when I was preparing to move and was packing away some baby feeding supplies.

My baby is almost 2 years old, and I can hardly believe it. As I approach the second anniversary of her birth, I also approach the one-year anniversary of completing one of my biggest accomplishments. I pumped breastmilk for one year. Lots of women nurse, or pump milk, for their babies, and lots of women do it for a year or longer. Even now, I sometimes look back and think, "Why did I think that was such a big accomplishment?" But it was a huge accomplishment for me. At the time I finished it, I remember being so happy and relieved and proud. I remember thinking that how I felt was comparable to how I felt when I graduated college.

While I was pregnant with my first daughter, I had a goal: breastfeed for at least one year. However, breastfeeding was very challenging for both of us. By the time she was four months old, she refused it all together. With my second daughter, I had the same goal. This time I was aware that I'd have to be flexible, in case she, or I, had a tough time breastfeeding, too. But the goal was still there, because it was the ideal.

I was so happy when my baby started breastfeeding within an hour of her birth. She latched right on and seemed to have no problem with it. I was still afraid that I would struggle and feel tied down with breastfeeding, but I was hopeful that this time would be better because the baby seemed to have an easier grasp of the concept. So for the next day and a half, I kept breastfeeding, and she ate with minimal guidance. And then we noticed something that was concerning, and she ended up being sent to another hospital for further testing. She was admitted to the NICU, where they gave me some supplies and instructed me to pump and store my breastmilk. Because of the testing, she couldn't take milk for a few days, and I needed to keep up pumping so I wouldn't lose my supply. By the time the initial testing was completed (which turned out normal), a different serious lifelong medical condition was discovered, and she remained in the NICU for three weeks. At first, doctors told me that because of her medical condition, she may not be able to tolerate breastmilk very well. So they started her on formula. I continued pumping with the hopes that she could get to a point where she could start taking it.

Each day, her blood work showed abnormal levels. There were certain levels that were much higher than normal. With each passing day, her feedings increased, and so did those levels. The doctors said they hoped her levels would eventually stabilize as her body got more adjusted to being outside the womb. But I was scared. One day I did the math, and figured out that if her levels kept going up at the rate they were, her health would be in critical condition within a week. This whole time, I continued pumping milk (every three hours around the clock) and praying that my milk would be the "magic" solution her body needed to improve. I still didn't know if her body would tolerate it, but one afternoon, I asked one of her doctors if she could just try the breastmilk. The doctor immediately got on the phone with her other doctor, and together they decided that she could try my milk. The next morning's blood work didn't show improvement, but the next day, after a full day of my baby consuming only breastmilk, her levels started dropping. They continued dropping until they were much closer to normal. Perhaps it was, at least in part, because her body was adjusting more to life outside the womb, but to me, that was just too coincidental. My milk really seemed to be the "magic" solution she needed. I continued pumping. By the time she left the hospital, she was on breastmilk with a bit of special formula mixed in to help her gain weight. Because she needed that extra formula mixed in, and because there was a possibility I would need to add special medication in the milk later on, I decided to continue pumping milk (instead of having her nurse directly). Within a couple months, there were four things I had to add to the milk. Her levels improved some more.

While she was in the hospital, I made a goal to pump milk for my baby for at least one year. And I did it. I started off pumping for 15 minutes, 7-8 times a day, and I eventually was able to pump for 30 minutes, 4 times a day. After each pumping, I had to wash the 8 pieces of pumping equipment. Each day we (my husband and/or I) emptied 8-10 breastmilk bottles (a day's worth of milk) into a container with the other four things she needed. We washed those 8-10 bottles and lids each day. The whole process of pumping was time-consuming. Everything took careful planning. There were times we wanted to just take off and go somewhere, but first we had to wait half an hour while I pumped. If I was going to be out during a pumping time, or longer than a few hours, I had to bring a portable pump, bottles, and a cooler, and figure out where and when I was going to pump. I also brought a cooler with prepared bottles for my baby wherever I went. She wouldn't drink cold milk, so I always tried to find some hot water to warm the bottle up in.

I had a lot of milk available, as I produced a lot of it, and there were days at the beginning when I pumped, despite her taking very little or no milk at all. When my baby was in the NICU, literally half of my freezer was filled with milk, plus the hospital had milk in their freezer. It's hard to believe, but there was a time when all 116 bottles pictured above were being used. And I am so grateful, because there were times later on when I struggled with my milk supply. I was able to feed my baby the milk I had pumped earlier.

This may seem self-applauding, and well, it is. People announce their music, sports, academic, and professional accomplishments. They have graduation parties and promotion celebrations. This is no different. This was a very hard thing that I worked at every day for a year of my life. I never would have guessed that "Pumped Breastmilk for One Year" would be on my list of great life accomplishments, but it is. Like I said, I know lots of women provide breastmilk for their baby, and many do it for a year or longer. It is challenging whether you nurse or pump. I think all women who accomplish this should get a party. A Post-Breastfeeding Shower. The gifts could consist of new bras, shirts, and purses (to replace the worn-out diaper bag). Perhaps a gift card for a date night when the mother can feel free and be out of the house for more than a couple hours at a time. The food can include salad, spicy snacks, chocolate, and anything else the nursing mother may have had to avoid. I'm not suggesting that everyone should shower me with gifts. (I'm just happy that my baby is doing so well, and I like to think at least part of it is because of all the breastmilk she had.) I'm just saying, Post-Breastfeeding Showers should totally be a thing. There are so many hard, sad things in life. We could use more celebrations. :)