To Be in Love with a Baby

"We're so in love!"

We've all heard it, seen it, or even said it. Someone announces the arrival of a newborn baby and declares, "We're so in love!" This may seem like an exaggeration or a misnomer.  "Love" is different from "in love". You can love someone very much without being in love with the person, and vice versa. Usually, "in love" refers to the all-encompassing emotion a person feels when he has a strong romantic interest in another, especially if it is a relatively new interest.

If, say, a man is in love with a woman, he can't stop thinking about her. He stares at her. He thinks she is beautiful. He sees through rose-colored glasses. All the unpleasantries and flaws she has either go unnoticed or they don't bother him. He'll do anything for her.

It is the same way when you have a new baby. You can't stop thinking about her. You stare at her. You think she is the cutest, most adorable baby to have ever graced this planet. You might notice unpleasantries (e.g., dirty diapers), but you don't care. You're totally enamored by her and you'll do anything for her.

When my girls were babies, they both spit up really bad. At one point, my husband was talking to one of them and said, "I like the smell of spit-up 'cause it means that you're around." The smell of spit-up isn't pleasant. But he was in love.  

Later on, you look back at newborn pictures and suddenly realize that she actually looked a tiny bit like an alien. An adorable alien, but still... And the dirty diapers start to get to you. You don't love your baby any less (if anything, you love her more), but you're not constantly "in love," like you were in the earlier days. But you still have your moments.

Even though Little and Big Sisters are no longer babies, we still have moments when we are so in love with them. We squeal with delight when they're being sweet. We think they are the most adorable little girls. Big asked Little for one of the crayons she was holding, and when Little responded with a firm, "No!", Big wasn't upset. She turned to me and said, "Her 'no' is cute." Then, a few mornings ago, Little woke up after Big did, and I brought her to see her Big Sister before she left for school. Little was in her just-woken-up glory: warm snuggles, messy hair, sleepy eyes, full diaper and all. Big gave her a kiss and said, "I like how she smells." Odd comment considering the circumstances (she had to have smelled that diaper), but...she was in love. One day, Little gathered her shoes and coat and stood by the front door, saying "Sistah" because she was ready to go get her from the bus stop. It was only 10:00 am. She was in love.

When someone says they're in love with their baby, it's not a misnomer. They're just as head-over-heels, stars-in-the-eyes, hopelessly in love with the baby as much as anyone ever was with a romantic interest.

Winter, How Do I Hate Thee? Let Me Count the Ways....and What I'm Going to Do about It

I spent most of my childhood in the South, where the winters produced only a few snow flurries, if we were lucky. The snow flurries were exciting, but I yearned to see real snow. When I graduated from high school, I moved across the country for college, in a place where snow was plentiful in the winters. On the first snow day of my freshman year, I squealed with delight and headed outside to play in the snow. I was not alone. Others from warmer areas of the country were also jumping gleefully through the snow. So I enjoyed that winter. But after seven winters there, I was so over it.

Even after moving to a warmer climate for a few years, a bit of me died with the leaves every time they started falling off the trees, signalling winter was on its way. I hate winter. Last year, we moved further up north just in time for one of the worst winters in 20 years. The snow here starts in the fall and piles up and stays frozen until the Spring. One day last winter, the temperature reached a low of -40 degrees Fahrenheit (including wind chill). My ignorant self did not previously realize it got that cold in the US, with the exception of maybe Alaska. Last winter was rough on everyone, and I tried to stay positive, but it was hard. I don't regret moving here; aside from the bad winters, it is a good place to live. Honestly, unless I were in Hawaii, I'd probably hate winters anywhere I lived. 

This year, I woke up on Halloween to find snow on the ground. It was a light covering that melted by the end of the day, but still, one look at the snow had me mentally fighting off expletives for a minute. I hate swear words, but I don't know what can better express how I feel about winter. And, by the way, in my world, no matter what month it is, snow, cold, coats, bare tree branches, and/or darkness at 5 pm means that it's winter.

 

Winter, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways...

1. I hate being cold. It is miserable. No amount of layers can warm me up. Okay, that's a lie. If I'm wearing three layers of clothes in a heated house, lying down on the couch with eight blankets on top of me, then I'm warm. But really, who can do that for very long? I've got things to do.

2. I hate the snow and ice. The snow gets everything wet and messy. And after a while, the snow gets dirty. So gray snow invades the car, the house, and boots and clothes. Snow and ice are dangerous. It makes driving and walking difficult. I am far more nervous when driving in the winter than any other season. Plus, the snow and ice are just plain annoying. You have to shovel and sprinkle (salt) and scrape continuously.

3. I hate the bulkiness. I want to punch people who say that cold is better because you can always add more layers. I can't stand layers. It is so restricting. It gets in the way. I can't wash dishes, or even wash my hands without getting my sleeves wet, or constantly pushing the sleeves up. Furthermore, pushed-up sleeves become stretched out. Wearing a winter coat is like trying to go about your life while you're being perpetually hugged. You can't move very freely. Winter clothes are so much thicker and trying to shove them in closets and drawers can be aggravating.

4. I hate how it's time-consuming and so inconvenient. In the summer, all you have to do is slip on a pair of sandals. If it's really hot, you might grab a bottle of water, and, if you'll be outside a while, some sunscreen. But that's it. You can then walk out of the house, buckle up in the car, and leave. In the winter, I have to add at least an additional twenty minutes to prepare myself and my two daughters to go anywhere. There are sweaters, boots, gloves, hats, scarves, and coats to don. And don't forget, children in car seats aren't supposed to wear big winter coats under their straps. So we put on a lighter coat, put them in the seat, then put a big coat on them backwards. Once you finally get outside, ofttimes you have to shovel and scrape the snow and ice off the car and driveway (That's not included in my extra twenty minutes, by the way). Afterward, you finally get in the car and slowly drive to your destination, straining to see in snowstorms while trying to avoid sliding on ice and getting stuck in the snow. When it's time to get out, you remove the backwards big coat from the child, unbuckle the car seat, and put the coat on the right way. This fun coat switcheroo has to happen every time you get in and out of a car. And then when you get into a building, the coats, gloves, hats, and scarves come flying off, and you end up carrying them around and trying to keep track of them and not lose anything.

5. I hate the overabundant static electricity. The shocks. The hair standing up or plastered to faces and clothing. It's annoying. And much more prevalent in the winter.

6. I hate the holiday pressure. Holidays are usually a perk to most people's otherwise dull or dreadful winter. I have tried for years to feel the "holiday spirit" and have a good time, but I always end up stressed and depressed and glad when the holidays are over.

7. I hate the dullness and darkness. Here, it starts to get dark at 4:45pm when daylight savings time ends. That is so depressing. Even during the day, much of the time it is overcast, and everything looks gray and barren.

8. I hate the sicknesses. Winter is flu season. Germs are passed around more easily. All sicknesses and colds are more rampant in the wintertime.

9. I hate the dryness. My hands get so dry, they crack and bleed and sting and hurt. I'm constantly slathering them with lotion.

What I'm going to do about it:

1. Hot chocolate. I am investing in some good hot chocolate and will drink lots of it. Apple cider, too.

2. Good clothes. I opened the boxes of my winter clothes in the basement, and felt a hint of bitterness and disgust. I would rather not have to wear long sleeves and boots at all, but since I have to, I'm only going to take out the ones I like a lot, even if that means I have to do laundry more often. All of the others will stay exiled in the basement. Actually, I should probably just donate them. I also plan on investing in some more merino wool socks and other good-quality, warm clothes. I want to find another pair of fur-lined boots. I got one pair last winter and they are wonderfully warm. I like to wear fleece-lined tights or leggings under my jeans in the winter, but I recently saw some fur-lined leggings at a store in the mall. The saleslady who saw me looking at them told me that they felt like "kittens hugging your legs". What an interesting (and kinda creepy) way to put it. I didn't have enough time to try them on right then, but I intend to go back, and if they're really that great, I may be the owner of some fur-lined leggings.

3. Winter science. I'm going to try those neat experiments you can do in subzero temperatures. I'll toss hot water into the air outside and watch what happens. I'll blow bubbles outside and watch them freeze. Maybe I'll make those Ice Ornaments/Marbles that are all over Pinterest. (You fill a balloon with water and food coloring, freeze them outside, then cut off the balloon and then you have some neat outdoor decorations.) There are lots of lists of neat science-y things to do online. One of the lists I found is at http://www.coolantarctica.com/Antarctica%20fact%20file/things_to_do_when_its_cold_outside.php.

4. Organization. I'm trying to come with a system to deal with the mess of coats, jackets, gloves, scarves, and hats. I haven't perfected it yet, but it will involve installing some shorter hooks in my house so my kids can get down and hang up their own coats.

5. Exercise. The only kind of exercise I enjoy is dancing. I'm going to dance more. It'll warm me up, and make me healthier, too. Notice I didn't say I'd go skiing, snowboarding, or the like. Winter sports make winter fun for many people, but they do not appeal to me in the least. I'll probably go sledding with my kids. Other than that, activities which require extensive time to be spent outdoors in the winter, particularly having to do with sports, sound terrible to me. (I was reading about winter sports, and ice swimming was mentioned. As in, you break ice off the top of a freezing lake, and you go swim around in that water! Not a dunk, like a Polar Plunge, but actually swimming. Why would one torture oneself like that?)

6. Distractions. I'm going to work on improving my writing, sewing, knitting, and crocheting. I might take some classes. I'm going to venture out of my house and find things to do beyond my normal routines. I'll try to meet with people, talk with people, and serve people.

7. Rethink holidays. I'm currently in the process of rethinking holidays and figuring out why they stress me out and why I don't enjoy them. For starters, I'm doing the celebratory things I want to do, not what you're "supposed" to do around the holidays. For example, I enjoy doing crafts, but I don't enjoy cooking. So this year, we'll have more new homemade decorations and less homemade cookies.

8. Lighting. I am investing in one of those super-bright lamps to help elevate my mood on dull, dreary days.

9. Be grateful. I'm going to try to focus on the good things. I'm grateful for a heated home and warm clothes and good food. I'm grateful for electricity and the water heater. I'm grateful for a car with four-wheel drive. I'm grateful for the internet. I'm grateful for family.

 10. Helpful tips. I've decided that I'm going to compile a list of helpful tips to get through the winter. I have some tips of my own, but I'm always looking for more. Here's one of mine: If you must go to a grocery store when it's icy, try to find a parking spot next to a cart corral so that you can quickly grab a cart and essentially use it as a walker to lean on so you don't slip and fall on the way in the store.

So, there you have it...what I hate about winter, and what I'm doing about it!

The Blessing of Boredom

The doctor came into the small room, looking down at my daughter's recent lab work results. He then exclaimed, "Well, her blood work is getting really boring!" I was taken aback for a second, not expecting him to use the word "boring" when talking about my precious little girl. And then I quickly realized that "boring" in this case was a good thing. It meant her results were stable; that they weren't getting worse. "Boring" is usually a word met with negativity. Being bored is not fun. But I am reminded from time to time that boredom is not always a bad thing.

Life has exciting, happy times. But much of our normal day-to-day living is boring. It doesn't really matter what your profession or way of life is; even the most exciting of activities can become routine and boring if you do it often enough. I grew up in the South, where snow was rare. I moved across the country to go to college, in a place where snow was plentiful in the winter months. The first snow day turned me into a five-year-old, squealing and giggling as I rushed outside to play and examine the fascinating, cold, white powder. However, after many winters of snow, it's no longer exciting. It's boring and annoying.

In the weeks and months leading up to my children's births, I was excited about their impending arrivals, but my day-to-day routines of cooking, cleaning, and school were boring. I felt that if my life was different in a number of ways, I would be less bored. If I had a busier social life, if I had more friends, if I traveled more, if I had an impeccably organized house with trendy home decor, I'd have a more full, exciting life, even throughout the daily grind.

Both of my daughters had a hospital stay longer than my own when they were born. During those days, my mind was filled with so much worry and exhaustion, boredom seemed to me to be a luxury. I distinctly remember late one night after spending the day at the hospital at the cribside of our younger daughter, my husband and I were driving home to try and get some sleep. I remember looking up at the dark sky and suddenly remembering what my stresses were just a few weeks earlier: my social life and the way my house looked. It was strange to realize that those things seemed so important to me at the time, but they had not even crossed my mind in the couple weeks since my daughter's birth. It seemed like a lifetime ago that those things mattered to me. All I cared and thought about was my sick baby.

I look back at that time and realize now that boredom can be a blessing, not only because boredom usually means a lack of major crises, but also because boredom leads to reassessment and hones creativity. You can look for things that may be missing in your life. You can add things to enrich your life. During my most recent phase of boredom, I've found ways to add more things into my life that interest me, such as art, writing, dancing, and service. Even very busy people can experience boredom in what they do. There are people who rarely have a free moment but are still bored because what they do is not interesting to them. This calls for some creativity. A while ago, I was very frustrated with the mundanity of endless chores and duties. So, I decided to try hard to be creative and come up with ways to make my routine more interesting. I've worked to find more humor in my life, and I've tried to spice up boring tasks with music, dancing, and other approaches. I came up with "5 Unique Ways to Have Fun Cleaning Up". These aren't huge differences, but a little goes a long way to make things more interesting.

I still get bored, but it's important to remember that boredom isn't always bad! It can be a blessing!

Toddlers and Medicine: 8 Ways to Get Your Toddler to Take Medicine

It's time. I make my preparations and take a deep breath. I go in. I've been doing this every single day for over a year. It was easy at first, but it's growing increasingly difficult. With each passing day, I try. And try and try and try. At times it seems futile. There are tears, fights, struggles, and frustrations. But maybe today will be different. Maybe it'll be easier. I can only hope. I take another deep breath and begin the process of giving a toddler medicine. This work is not for the weak.

My daughter, who I'll call Little Sister, has been taking medication for a health condition since she was a newborn. One of the medications is in a non-dissolving powder form. When it could no longer be mixed in her milk, I mixed it into her baby food and fed it to her with no problem. However, when she was just over one year old, she decided that she didn't want me to spoon-feed her anymore. If she fed herself the medicine, there's no way all the medicine would have made it into her body. She also wasn't interested in eating very much. So I was left encouraging, coercing, bribing, and fighting her to take the medicine every day. Over the past year or so, I've tried many methods to get her to take her medicine.

Here are a few tips:

1. Have back-up. Getting another adult will be helpful. An older child, especially a sibling of the toddler, can also be helpful to you and encouraging to the toddler.

2. Secure the child. Put toddler in a highchair or booster seat. Buckle him in. This eliminates the problem of chasing down the child and attempting to feed him in awkward positions, which often leads to the medicine getting everywhere except in the child's mouth. You can also have another adult hold the child, but I've found that that usually leads to medication spills on the other adult. Don't let the toddler down until he has taken all the medicine.

3. Keep a favorite drink handy. Fill a sippy cup with something you know the child likes. It's good to wash the medicine down, and if it takes more than one bite or gulp to eat all the medicine, it's nice to have a drink in between bites for a little break.

4. Keep it positive. This is hard, because it's very stressful when a child refuses to take medicine, but try to make it a positive experience. Force may be necessary in the end, but first try hard to make it a good experience. And when the child takes the medicine, even if it was a bad experience, give yourself a pat on the back. At least she has the medicine in her body.

5. If you come across troubles, ask your doctor and/or pharmacist for advice.

Methods for administering medication orally:

1. The Airplane
One of the most popular, yet least-effective methods out there, the airplane is just what you think it is: pretending the medicine dispenser is an airplane and flying it around before it "lands" in the child's mouth. This does not work very well for my child, but occasionally it does, so it's worth a try. Play around with it a little. Make sound effects or imitate a pilot. Pretend to almost fly it into the mouth of yourself, another child, a doll, or stuffed animal, and then dramatically say something like, "That's not where it's supposed to go!" Or, "Wrong destination! It's supposed to go here!" as you "fly" it into the correct mouth.

2. Different Mixtures
Sometimes switching up the food that the medicine was mixed into is helpful. We usually do applesauce, baby food, or yogurt, but also tried pudding, milkshakes, and rice krispie treats. We even added some of the powdered medicine into some melted chocolate, which we put into molds to harden up. Liquid medications can also be added to a small amount of juice in a sippy cup. It's a good idea to check with your doctor or pharmacist about mixing medication into something else. Some meditations may change properties when administered in different forms.

3. Hip Hip Hooray! (Or Touchdown!)
This is a fun one that worked for quite a while. It takes two people. One person feeds the medicine. The other person stands behind the child and takes both of their hands. Tap his hands on his hips twice, and then raise his hands as high as they'll go, as you cheerfully say, "Hip Hip Hooray!!!" Once the hands are in the air, the other person feeds the medicine. Be sure to keep his arms close to his head. This way, he can't use his hands to swipe the medicine away, and his arms close to his head keeps him from turning his head away. Playfully saying "Hip Hip Hooray!" makes it into a fun game of sorts. It takes several bites to get all the medicine into my child, so every couple of bites, I'd let go of her hands and give her a break. Eventually, she started putting her hands up in the air by herself, which looked like she was indicating a touchdown. So now when we say, "Touchdown!", she knows to put her hands in the air for her medicine. The "Touchdown" method may be particularly helpful to older toddlers who have an interest in football or sports in general.

4. Dispenser
If you are administering a oral liquid medication with a medicine dropper or syringe, put the tip of the dispenser to the side of the mouth, and toward the back (not all the way back). If you put it straight to the back of the tongue, it'll trigger gag reflex, and if you put it in the front of the mouth, it's really easy for the child to push or spit the medicine out. You can also try different kinds of dispensers, like pacifier dispensers, baby bottle nipple dispensers, or this cute AVA the Elephant dispenser.

5. Cheering!
This is one of the best methods in our house. It worked for a while, then stopped working. But we tried it again later, with more enthusiasm, and it worked again. The key here is encouraging and cheering. Be overly dramatic about it. As you bring the medicine to the toddler, give a pep-talk and act excited. Every single bite gets championship-game-worthy cheering and high-fives. Yes. It is ridiculous. And exhausting. But it works for us. And it makes our Little happy. We do it even if other people are around. Usually other people get into it and join the cheering, as well. Little Sister loves to get high-fives from her Big Sister after every bite, even if she is in another room. Thankfully, Big Sister always obliges and gets just as excited as everyone else when a bite is accomplished.

Also, remember to cheer and applaud even if the medicating ends up being a fight. You may want to be more mellow about it in this case, but anytime a toddler swallows medicine is cause for some encouragement and celebration.

6. Stuffed Animals and Dolls
If plain 'ole cheering doesn't work, this usually does. Bring in a favorite doll or stuffed animal. Pretend to give it medicine. Then cheer and high-five the favorite toy. Have the toddler high-five her toy. Then say that it's her turn, and give medicine to the toddler, followed by cheering and high-fives. The toddler and favorite toy take turns taking the medicine until it's all gone. Again, ridiculous, but I'll feel and look ridiculous if that's what it takes.

And if all else fails...

7. Trickery
You look for any possible time the toddler's mouth is open. Distract with toys. If she opens her mouth in a smile, pop the medicine in. If she's playing with a favorite toy, snatch the toy away. When she opens her mouth in cry or protest, sneak the medicine in. When she opens her mouth in screams of frustration, put some medicine in. Give the child something she likes (it could be an M&M). Hold it at her mouth. Right when she opens his mouth for the M&M, quickly switch it out for the medicine. And then give her the M&M once she swallows the medicine. This is not a fun way to go. But sometimes nothing else works and the child just really needs her medicine. Even with this, you're at the mercy of the child and whether or not she spits it back out.

8. Bribery
It's not the best option, and it won't work with very young toddlers, but once the child understands it, it works. The key is to keep it small; make it more of an incentive than a bribe. The child gets a single chocolate chip or M&M when he takes his medicine. The best is when you can bribe with something healthy. My daughter loves her new vitamins so much, we can use the vitamin as a bribe.

If nothing works, you're not alone. Medication administration has left both my child and me in tears on multiple occasions. Do your best and try, try, try again!

How to be Great

Last month, I attended my grandfather's funeral. I have always regarded my grandfather as a great man, but had never thought too much about why I thought he was great. When he died, I was touched by the many comments I read and heard from people. So many people, from all seasons of his life, commented on how he had affected them, and how they remembered his influence, even after many years.

As I was browsing through condolences on social media, I repeatedly came across the words "warm", "mentor", "nice", "smile", "kind", "example", "loving", and "inspiration". Multiple people recalled my grandfather as being a good home teacher, which is a testament of how he served others with love, and did not only regard his fellow man as a duty or chore. He loved children, and held many a crying child on his lap as he gave them a bit of candy he carried with him. Children loved him. One neighbor considered him a second father and learned much from him in his childhood years. One lady told of how she knew my grandfather when she was a young girl. On one occasion, she was being loud and silly at a party, when a person unkindly told her she needed to calm down and stop being so loud. My grandfather then stepped in and told her that he thought all young people should be happy. Another person said that she often felt out of place and judged. However, when she was around my grandpa, she always felt love and acceptance from him. I, too, never felt I needed to be anyone other than who I was to be loved by him. He did not condone bad choices, but he never held back love. He almost always had a smile on his face, and is one of the greatest examples of a life well-lived that I have. He was one of the greatest people I have known.

I share this experience because it was an important lesson for me. I often don't feel like I can be great. It is easy to be tricked into believing that greatness is reserved for the popular, the famous, the rich, those with big career successes, and those who do significant things for large groups of people, and are recognized for it. My grandfather was intelligent and successful in his career. He also served in the military and held several high positions in the church of which he was a lifelong member. Those things were mentioned in his funeral by way of eulogy, but the vast majority of the funeral was about his character. And that is what made him great. He may have appeared to have been ordinary in the eyes of most of the world, but his simple, loving gestures positively influenced all around him and made him a great person. The more I think about it, the more I realize there are so many people in this world who appear ordinary, but who are actually some of the greatest among us.

Cauliflower Breadsticks: Fail

I try to prepare healthy food for my family. I don't consider myself a "health nut". I enjoy sweets and other not-so-healthy foods, but I'm careful. I rarely buy soda, candy, cookies, or potato chips, although we keep a pretty steady supply of ice cream in our freezer. I often open a can of veggies or pull out some carrots, peppers, or celery to go with our meals. But I don't usually try anything unique or time-consuming with vegetables. A while ago, I saw a recipe for Cauliflower Breadsticks. This was my thought process:

'Ooo, breadsticks! I love breadsticks. Surely this won't taste just like regular breadsticks. After all, it does have cauliflower in it, but it'll still satisfy my bread cravings AND it'll have a vegetable in it... And look, it has high reviews. I am going to make this! I feel so proud of myself for making something new that's super HEALTHY!'

I gathered the ingredients and began making Cauliflower Breadsticks. Yum! The first step was to chop cauliflower and put it in a food processor. Well, my food processor/chopper can only handle about one cup at a time. Processing a whole head of cauliflower into teeny tiny pieces was taking a long time. And I was getting really hungry. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled out a bag of Ranch Doritos and started munching on them while I worked with the cauliflower. 

All the cauliflower was finally to the size it needed to be. The next step was microwaving it, and then putting it in a dish towel. I then spent several minutes squeezing out all the excess moisture.

Still munching on Doritos. Yum.

I finished preparing the cauliflower and added the other necessary ingredients. I smashed it all down on a cookie sheet and popped it in the oven. When it was done, I cut it into breadstick-sized pieces. I proudly served the cauliflower breadsticks onto everyone's plates. Breadsticks! With healthy cauliflower inside! With great anticipation, I took my first bite and it tasted--- like cauliflower. It tasted like cauliflower, with cheese and some spices. I was disappointed.

Lessons I learned:

1. The purpose of making a healthy dish is defeated when it takes so long and you get so hungry, you break out a bag of Doritos to tide you over. (P.S. I really do rarely buy Doritos. Because when it's in my house, it's way too tempting.)

2. What kind of a cruel joke is it to call something "Cauliflower Breadsticks" when it doesn't taste at all like breadsticks? Maybe I'll make some Radish Garlic Candy for you. It looks like candy, but has the health benefits of radishes and garlic. Yum, right?!

I now realize the "breadsticks" in "Cauliflower Breadsticks" was referring to how they look, not how they taste, similar to "brownie pizza". Even the nomenclature of the breadstick refers to bread shaped like a stick, not flavored like a stick. I should have known better. But still. I was hoping it would be one of those cake/applesauce things, where you can replace the oil with applesauce, and it tastes about the same, but is healthier for you. Which leads me to my next lesson....

3. I need to take a closer look at the ingredients. If something is 90% cauliflower, it'll probably taste like cauliflower.

4.  It actually wasn't a bad recipe for cauliflower. I was just expecting something different.

5. But apparently it wasn't a good enough recipe, because no one wanted leftovers, and I ended up throwing half of it away. Sigh.

What Parenting Is REALLY Like

 Sometimes I wonder what my childless friends might think when they read articles, blogs, tweets, status updates, or hear songs and comedians on the subject of parenting or children. You hear both extremes: the trials and chaos and hardship of having children, and the joyful, heart-bursting happiness that comes with having children. I generally see more blogs and articles dealing with the former of the extremes. I can see how those without children would think those with children are crazy, especially when they add more to their brood amidst complaining about parenting. I can see how it may be confusing, seeing things of both extremes. Heck, sometimes I get confused.

As much as I'd like to always rejoice in all things parenting and never complain and never joke about it, that's not how it is. There are times I roll my eyes or sink in a puddle of tears (on really hard days) when I read something cheesy about how someone feels so over-the-moon happy and exhilarated with their children and how so in love they are with them. I enjoy reading humor about tough parenting situations. While I was knee-deep in potty training a very difficult potty trainee, I laughed myself to tears when I read this blog entry (I don't know how funny it is to anyone else; I was reallly tired that night). I do feel guilty sometimes for enjoying the jokes because I know it probably doesn't make having children very appealing.

Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians. Apparently he's been accused of being "anti-family" because of how much he jokes about parenting his five children. In his book, "Dad is Fat," he writes, "Anti-family? This could not be further from the truth. I love being a parent and enjoy finding the humor in parenting...You joke about it. That's how you deal. If parents don't like being a parent, they don't talk about being a parent. They are absent...Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent."

I like how he explains it. Parenting is wonderful, but it is hard. When you read an article detailing the hardships of parenting, or full of complaints or jokes about children, the writer of that article is venting. They're looking for support and providing support for those in similar situations. It's therapeutic. I find support and community with people who write these kinds of things. I do prefer a touch of humor, rather than solid complaining. 

Even with the humor, I get tired of reading all the "parenting is hard" stuff sometimes. It becomes annoying after a while. Because sometimes I do feel ecstatic and hopelessly in love with my children. I love them and feel so blessed and fortunate to have them all the time, but sometimes I feel so happy about it, my heart can't contain my emotions. I feel like they're the best, funniest, most awesome and adorable things in the world, and I don't know what I'd do without them.

I know it sounds crazy.

It is possible to pull your hair out and want to send the kids to boarding school...and then feel overwhelming happiness and elation because of those same kids...on the same day. Sometimes in the same hour.

During my girls' babyhood, I have been unshowered, in my pajamas, sleep deprived and covered in spit-up at noon...and been extremely happy. I have been unshowered, in my pajamas, sleep deprived and covered in spit-up at noon...and been grouchy and depressed.

Just like any other thing in life, parenting is complex. It is not one-sided. It has multiple dimensions. It is not all up or all down. It is not all happy and pleasant. Some days, or a lot of days in a row, it is hard to see the beauty of it. But parenting is wonderful. Wonderful in a way that can't be explained very well. The love you experience gives you a kind of worry and stress you've never felt before. But that love also gives you gifts of joy, deep meaning, and happiness you've never felt before.

*Disclaimer: I am only speaking from my own experience as a mother of a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. Obviously, other parents have other perspectives on parenting, depending on their own unique children and the ages of their children. This is just what I've learned.