As much as I'd like to always rejoice in all things parenting and never complain and never joke about it, that's not how it is. There are times I roll my eyes or sink in a puddle of tears (on really hard days) when I read something cheesy about how someone feels so over-the-moon happy and exhilarated with their children and how so in love they are with them. I enjoy reading humor about tough parenting situations. While I was knee-deep in potty training a very difficult potty trainee, I laughed myself to tears when I read this blog entry (I don't know how funny it is to anyone else; I was reallly tired that night). I do feel guilty sometimes for enjoying the jokes because I know it probably doesn't make having children very appealing.
Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians. Apparently he's been accused of being "anti-family" because of how much he jokes about parenting his five children. In his book, "Dad is Fat," he writes, "Anti-family? This could not be further from the truth. I love being a parent and enjoy finding the humor in parenting...You joke about it. That's how you deal. If parents don't like being a parent, they don't talk about being a parent. They are absent...Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent."
I like how he explains it. Parenting is wonderful, but it is hard. When you read an article detailing the hardships of parenting, or full of complaints or jokes about children, the writer of that article is venting. They're looking for support and providing support for those in similar situations. It's therapeutic. I find support and community with people who write these kinds of things. I do prefer a touch of humor, rather than solid complaining.
Even with the humor, I get tired of reading all the "parenting is hard" stuff sometimes. It becomes annoying after a while. Because sometimes I do feel ecstatic and hopelessly in love with my children. I love them and feel so blessed and fortunate to have them all the time, but sometimes I feel so happy about it, my heart can't contain my emotions. I feel like they're the best, funniest, most awesome and adorable things in the world, and I don't know what I'd do without them.
I know it sounds crazy.
It is possible to pull your hair out and want to send the kids to boarding school...and then feel overwhelming happiness and elation because of those same kids...on the same day. Sometimes in the same hour.
During my girls' babyhood, I have been unshowered, in my pajamas, sleep deprived and covered in spit-up at noon...and been extremely happy. I have been unshowered, in my pajamas, sleep deprived and covered in spit-up at noon...and been grouchy and depressed.
Just like any other thing in life, parenting is complex. It is not one-sided. It has multiple dimensions. It is not all up or all down. It is not all happy and pleasant. Some days, or a lot of days in a row, it is hard to see the beauty of it. But parenting is wonderful. Wonderful in a way that can't be explained very well. The love you experience gives you a kind of worry and stress you've never felt before. But that love also gives you gifts of joy, deep meaning, and happiness you've never felt before.
*Disclaimer: I am only speaking from my own experience as a mother of a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. Obviously, other parents have other perspectives on parenting, depending on their own unique children and the ages of their children. This is just what I've learned.
No comments:
Post a Comment