Cauliflower Breadsticks: Fail

I try to prepare healthy food for my family. I don't consider myself a "health nut". I enjoy sweets and other not-so-healthy foods, but I'm careful. I rarely buy soda, candy, cookies, or potato chips, although we keep a pretty steady supply of ice cream in our freezer. I often open a can of veggies or pull out some carrots, peppers, or celery to go with our meals. But I don't usually try anything unique or time-consuming with vegetables. A while ago, I saw a recipe for Cauliflower Breadsticks. This was my thought process:

'Ooo, breadsticks! I love breadsticks. Surely this won't taste just like regular breadsticks. After all, it does have cauliflower in it, but it'll still satisfy my bread cravings AND it'll have a vegetable in it... And look, it has high reviews. I am going to make this! I feel so proud of myself for making something new that's super HEALTHY!'

I gathered the ingredients and began making Cauliflower Breadsticks. Yum! The first step was to chop cauliflower and put it in a food processor. Well, my food processor/chopper can only handle about one cup at a time. Processing a whole head of cauliflower into teeny tiny pieces was taking a long time. And I was getting really hungry. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled out a bag of Ranch Doritos and started munching on them while I worked with the cauliflower. 

All the cauliflower was finally to the size it needed to be. The next step was microwaving it, and then putting it in a dish towel. I then spent several minutes squeezing out all the excess moisture.

Still munching on Doritos. Yum.

I finished preparing the cauliflower and added the other necessary ingredients. I smashed it all down on a cookie sheet and popped it in the oven. When it was done, I cut it into breadstick-sized pieces. I proudly served the cauliflower breadsticks onto everyone's plates. Breadsticks! With healthy cauliflower inside! With great anticipation, I took my first bite and it tasted--- like cauliflower. It tasted like cauliflower, with cheese and some spices. I was disappointed.

Lessons I learned:

1. The purpose of making a healthy dish is defeated when it takes so long and you get so hungry, you break out a bag of Doritos to tide you over. (P.S. I really do rarely buy Doritos. Because when it's in my house, it's way too tempting.)

2. What kind of a cruel joke is it to call something "Cauliflower Breadsticks" when it doesn't taste at all like breadsticks? Maybe I'll make some Radish Garlic Candy for you. It looks like candy, but has the health benefits of radishes and garlic. Yum, right?!

I now realize the "breadsticks" in "Cauliflower Breadsticks" was referring to how they look, not how they taste, similar to "brownie pizza". Even the nomenclature of the breadstick refers to bread shaped like a stick, not flavored like a stick. I should have known better. But still. I was hoping it would be one of those cake/applesauce things, where you can replace the oil with applesauce, and it tastes about the same, but is healthier for you. Which leads me to my next lesson....

3. I need to take a closer look at the ingredients. If something is 90% cauliflower, it'll probably taste like cauliflower.

4.  It actually wasn't a bad recipe for cauliflower. I was just expecting something different.

5. But apparently it wasn't a good enough recipe, because no one wanted leftovers, and I ended up throwing half of it away. Sigh.

What Parenting Is REALLY Like

 Sometimes I wonder what my childless friends might think when they read articles, blogs, tweets, status updates, or hear songs and comedians on the subject of parenting or children. You hear both extremes: the trials and chaos and hardship of having children, and the joyful, heart-bursting happiness that comes with having children. I generally see more blogs and articles dealing with the former of the extremes. I can see how those without children would think those with children are crazy, especially when they add more to their brood amidst complaining about parenting. I can see how it may be confusing, seeing things of both extremes. Heck, sometimes I get confused.

As much as I'd like to always rejoice in all things parenting and never complain and never joke about it, that's not how it is. There are times I roll my eyes or sink in a puddle of tears (on really hard days) when I read something cheesy about how someone feels so over-the-moon happy and exhilarated with their children and how so in love they are with them. I enjoy reading humor about tough parenting situations. While I was knee-deep in potty training a very difficult potty trainee, I laughed myself to tears when I read this blog entry (I don't know how funny it is to anyone else; I was reallly tired that night). I do feel guilty sometimes for enjoying the jokes because I know it probably doesn't make having children very appealing.

Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians. Apparently he's been accused of being "anti-family" because of how much he jokes about parenting his five children. In his book, "Dad is Fat," he writes, "Anti-family? This could not be further from the truth. I love being a parent and enjoy finding the humor in parenting...You joke about it. That's how you deal. If parents don't like being a parent, they don't talk about being a parent. They are absent...Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent."

I like how he explains it. Parenting is wonderful, but it is hard. When you read an article detailing the hardships of parenting, or full of complaints or jokes about children, the writer of that article is venting. They're looking for support and providing support for those in similar situations. It's therapeutic. I find support and community with people who write these kinds of things. I do prefer a touch of humor, rather than solid complaining. 

Even with the humor, I get tired of reading all the "parenting is hard" stuff sometimes. It becomes annoying after a while. Because sometimes I do feel ecstatic and hopelessly in love with my children. I love them and feel so blessed and fortunate to have them all the time, but sometimes I feel so happy about it, my heart can't contain my emotions. I feel like they're the best, funniest, most awesome and adorable things in the world, and I don't know what I'd do without them.

I know it sounds crazy.

It is possible to pull your hair out and want to send the kids to boarding school...and then feel overwhelming happiness and elation because of those same kids...on the same day. Sometimes in the same hour.

During my girls' babyhood, I have been unshowered, in my pajamas, sleep deprived and covered in spit-up at noon...and been extremely happy. I have been unshowered, in my pajamas, sleep deprived and covered in spit-up at noon...and been grouchy and depressed.

Just like any other thing in life, parenting is complex. It is not one-sided. It has multiple dimensions. It is not all up or all down. It is not all happy and pleasant. Some days, or a lot of days in a row, it is hard to see the beauty of it. But parenting is wonderful. Wonderful in a way that can't be explained very well. The love you experience gives you a kind of worry and stress you've never felt before. But that love also gives you gifts of joy, deep meaning, and happiness you've never felt before.

*Disclaimer: I am only speaking from my own experience as a mother of a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. Obviously, other parents have other perspectives on parenting, depending on their own unique children and the ages of their children. This is just what I've learned.